Gospel-Centered Pro-Life Podcast
Gospel-Centered Pro-Life Podcast

Episode 137 · 8 months ago

Case Study - High Risk Pregnancy


Mama “T” showed up at the abortion center because her doctor told abortion was the only safe option for her. By God’s grace, Vicky was able to talk and pray with her before she went into the abortion center. In this episode, we equip you by sharing that amazing story and how to Lord used sidewalk ministry to not only save her baby but save another family as well.


And then the even more wonderful additional end of the story. She stood up and she she was horrified by the callous, hardheartedness and even just joking manner of so many of the women in there as they're about to kill their baby. While she's going through all of this ankst yeah, she saw one other couple sitting in the waiting room and she said she knew looking at them that they were struggling with this decision. Yeah, she went over to them and said, I'm going to leave, I'm going to keep my baby. You don't have to stay here. You know you can leave too. I Am Yours, I am yours, I am yours. And Me, Lord, I am yours, I am yours. I'm welcome to the Gospel Center Pray Life Podcast, a podcast designed to equip, encourage and challenge you in pro life ministry, and always with a focus on the Gospel. Stay tuned. I felt show Passih touchs your Lord, use me love. Welcome back to the Gospel centered pro life podcast. We appreciate you, guys, joining us as always, and with this episode we're going to do something that we haven't done in a while. We're going to do a case study on. By the way, I forgot to mention I'm Daniel Parks. I'm Vicky cassier. Yes, she is. So, yeah, we're going to jump into a case study and basically a story that's played out and I think is still playing out, yeah, of a mom that chose life that we met, Vicky met, at the abortion center. Now, I think these are helpful because we kind of share with you the flow of things, some of the initial conversations, how that went, how things progressed for her to choose life and some of the connections that were made. I think this kind of gives you guys, a real world view of our interactions with the mom that chooses life and some of the things that are helpful, maybe some of the things that we learned along the way. And so we're going to be talking in this. We're going to call her we mama tea. Mama Tea, okay, so first name starts with tea. Will give you that much, but we obviously don't want to anything further, so we just call her tea. I guess it's Talk Tea, all right, and tea is in a high risk maternity situation and this is one of those. Yeah, it's rare, but not super rare, like we encounter these at the abortion center quite often. I guess I'll us. I will tell you I often hear from my mom that it's high risk. Yeah, but that's not always the truth, right, right. So we're going to talk about some of that as well. And so hopefully this will help equip you, guys and help give you some confidence if you encounter this situation, or maybe you have already encountered a situation like this. Some of these principles, some of this experience will hopefully help equip you and, yeah, keep you moving forward and help you be as effective as possible and maybe you can learn from our mistakes, because we make them from time to time. Yeah, this one, this one really was a really I think it's a really good case to discuss because there are a lot of components to it that I think can train and help people. But this woman pulled up to the driveway of the abortion center, she was about to turn in. She stopped, wrote down her window, stopped for me and I instantly handed her the literature. Right, that's step number one. Even before I say hi. I am saying hi as I'm handing her the literature. They almost always then take it. Hi, my name is Vicky. We have hope and help available for you. And before I could say much further, she said, look, I really appreciate what you're doing here.

I don't hear that often, right, but she and and her eyes instantly are already watering. I appreciate what what you're doing here. I don't want to be here, but I have no choice. I will die if I have this baby. Yeah, is what she said. So, like I said, I've heard this this many times. Many times it turns out it was not true, but she I immediately asked her then, what's going on? Yeah, I'm really saw sorry. What's going on? And she said she had a young baby at home who she almost died when that baby was born because her her uterus ruptured. Yeah, and I know that is serious, and so she had not had enough time since that rupture before she was now pregnant again, and she said that her doctor had said that that she would die. That's that's the first part of the scenario. Yeah, that's pretty heavy situation to be encountering there for sure. Yeah, yeah, and, like you said, to hear from her, I appreciate what you guys are doing here. What she's done in a sense, which is kind of understandable, is she's distant, disconnected herself from abortion exactly and really just, well, that's what people like. They do the people who are inside of there already or whatever. But I'm not like that. My situation is different, which her situation is different in the sense that she's in a Harris maternity situation. Parent, yeah, but it's not different in the sense that she still would be going in there to take the life of her babies. That needs to be like we've always said, we've got to meet these women with compassion, as silly sometimes as their circumstances might seem to us. We have to meet him with compassion. As heavy as their situations seem to us, and this is a heavy situation, we still have to meet them with compassion. Compassion is we of passion. We have to suffer with him, as we're passion you probably, you guysn't probably Hurd me say that compassion, if you break it down the prefixes with calm means with and the word passion means suffering. We have to suffer with them, and so I know you did, identifying with her pains she's already crying, right. Yeah, got to connect with them on that level because what they're going through is pretty heavy, right. And so that was, you know, and there's some other principles that I didn't write down in the article that we accompany this podcast with, but things getting the information in their hands right away, smiling, waving, showing that your trustworthy and friendly. But I did say I'm sorry several times, and then asking what's going on, getting their story if she was willing to tell me. So, you know, I I instantly did say, I feel terrible for you, I am so sorry, but but listen, we have a high risk doctor that can talk with you for for free. Have you gotten a second opinion? And that's always an important thing, thing to mention. But Um, she she stopped when I said that and kind of adapt at her eyes and and said, I, I, I just can't write, I can't and then I said do you know God? That was do you know God, and that made her start to cry even harder. Right. So there's a couple of main principles in in that segment of of my encounter with her, which not every community is going to have a high risk writer. Yeah, but most do, and we have one that will actually talk to anyone nationally. So, you know, offering that second opinion. Yeah, and and offering a high risk doctor to talk with her. Yeah, that's definitely a powerful tool to have if you have a high risk doctor locally in your area you've connected with. I mean I'm sure...

...there are, like you said, in every area there's there's some high risk doctor right that has dealt with situations like this. But whether or not they will be on your team and whether or not they would be willing to talk to women as a whole other story. Yeah, so it's good to if you can find out about that before you ever step onto a sidewalk, because it's easily found out if it's in your community. But one of the at as we continue to talk, then I knew that God was in the equation because her eyes got even more she was crying even harder. When I said do you know God? I think she nodded at the point at that point. But then I talked about the certainty of the death of that child, if she had no portion, bumped up against the possibility that she might die, and that's an important point, I think, to make in any in any situation where they're talking about the possibility of either the child's death or the possibility of the maternal the mother's death. Yeah, in and that's not to just kind of push upside her concerns, right. Obviously we don't want her to die. Yeah, we don't want the baby to die either. Right. And, like you said, what Vig he's talking about is that contrast between your you've been told that you may die. There's such and such a present chance that you may die if you get through this pregnancy. That, though, is not a certainty, right, but if you go through with an abortion, mean the the goal of the abortion is to kill the child. So if the abortion is successful, then that's a certainty that baby's going to die. Right, and bumping that message up against keep offering that high risk doctor or a pro life doctor with a with a second opinion. And then I asked her to pull over and she said, listen, let me think about it. I'm going to look this pamphlet over and think about it. Yeah, so before she left, I said, can I pray with you, because I knew she's going to drive away. Now she's she has, she has reached her limit of talking with me. It's clear. Yeah. So I said, can I pray with you, and she nodded and I prayed that God would help her to trust him in this very hard thing, that that she would consider not only the struggle she's going through but the struggle that that poor baby's going to go through if from if she decides to take that child's life, and that God would give her discernment. Yeah, do its best. And then and pretty much closed. There and to my surprise, she did not pull into the driveway. She drove down and pulled into the next driveway, which is the call center. Yeah, and obviously conflicted, obviously there does not have her mind set on abortion. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and so that offering of prayer. Yeah, and I love what, again, Daniel, what you taught me in praying, if you you know. Okay, they're about to leave. It's time to pray. Yeah, and to pray at them right. Yeah, and in that prayer to be reiterating, you know, the main points of what you've already yes, something to the effect of God. And now I'll try to get their name at that point. Yeah, and I'm praying God, please help tea to see, yeah, your love for her. The fact that you care for her and you care about her situation and help her also to see your love for her baby, right, that you value this child and you have a good plan for her baby, and that, Lord, if you'll put her trust in you, you're with her through this whole situation. Now, when I'm praying, I want to be careful not to pray. I know that she's going to be okay and thank you God, that she's absolutely not going to suffering the issues that you don't know. That right, but I do know that God will be near her if you she puts her trust in him. Yeah, and I do have confidence that the Lord is a healer, and so I may even pray something like that. Lord, I pray that you would heal her, that the wounds that she has in her...

...uterus would be quickly hue, because that's the issue. Her uterus apparently been sewn back together and it could rupture, ruptree in and so see. Yeah, so, anyway, I'm praying at them, but I'm also careful not to you. I don't want to give false hope either. Right. Yeah, yeah, so, as she pulls over and she's sitting in the other call center parking lot, I wanted to be visible. I wanted her to know I had not abandoned her, but I was far enough away that I hoped it was the right balance between intrusive visible but not intrusive. So I was standing there and used my time to call our high risk doctor right who fortunately did pick up. I told her the situation and I said what do you think? We can you talk with her, and Edith as her name. He said yes, she would be more than happy to talk about her, but she said this is serious. She's not lying. It is this is a serious issue and I'm going to do some research, but I'd be happy to talk with her and I would need to ask her some questions. Can it? Can I get a little bit more of her background? So the woman was in the car, clearly sobbing her eyes out. Yeah, reading the pamphlet. I saw her reading the pamphlet and I saw her on the phone and I just was I was visibly praying then, yeah, so that she knew that I was calling on God to as she's as she's going through through this discussion and and then she starts up her car and starts to pull out and she did roll down her window for me and at the same time the owner, well, I don't know if he's the owner, I don't know who he is, but he's someone high up in the abortion center, pulled in, almost hit me with his car, gets out of his car and comes fearious with at me, running over. And as this is happening, I'm taut still talking to tea and said can I, can I give you Dr Edith's number, and she said yes, I start writing it down and this man comes barreling at me, inches from my face. He has pushed me before. We know he can be violent. Yeah, and this does play into the story, believe me. And at that moment our counselor one of my fellow counselors, saw this, knew this guy has the potential to be violent and she pulled out her phone, came at US videotaping right so because she wanted to have evidence, should I get beaten up or whatever for the police. Yeah, and she was afraid that I was going to get beaten up. And when the woman, when tea, saw the phone video and clearly videotaping, she then was angry and said are you videotaping me? Rolled up the window before I could get to eat. This number to her and pulled out and write the abortion center. What's our key point here, Daniel? Yeah, but I mean that's a that that's kind of a difficult balance there, because I think it was we teach our people to pull out your phone and start video and right when something crazy starts happening. Right, but it is good, if we're careful, as a careful as we can be, not to appear to be videoing patients. Yeah, I don't know that there was any way to avoid that in that situation. Maybe put your phone a little down. I mean, the end of the day, we have we have no there's no incentive for us to video patients. Yep, right, and it does create a barrier and a breach of trust. You've already built trust with her. I would say, though, just hearing the scenario and how it played out. Like I've said in the past,...

...these women are oftentimes grasping for two things at the same time. They're grasping for a justification to a board and to write off of all that we're saying, and they're grasping for a justification to leave. Yeah, right, and so I think that videotaping scenario was her grasping for a reason to go ahead and a board. Just do it and forget about what this this lady on the sidewalks head because, after all, she breached trust and she videotaping me. Yeah, and I think that's what it was. It's it shows that fight in her mind, because she didn't even give you an opportunity to explain. She didn't even take in the fact that this guy was being belligerent and angry and all that stuff like. I mean, my question would be if I was reasonably thinking, why are you yelling at me? I'm in the driveway here talking to this person. Why are you yelling? You know you're supposed to be running the facility here and you're acting like a fool. But again, these women that we encounter in very difficult situations a lot of chaos in their minds. You can't you can't expect them to be thinking things through very clearly. So, yeah, that's what I would say. Just be careful as your videotape and so keep this in your mind when I get to the end of the story, because it's not the how it truly ended. I don't mention in this article. So I want you to remember what you just said. All of that. Anyway, I did call out to her. She's driving away. No, we were videotaping him, but that was all I could say. And she's gone. So she get I felt like I'd been punched. I was like, Oh, I had her. Yeah, no, she was. I was just about to hander edith's number and she drives into the abortion center. So she drives in and she was in there for like an hour. The abortionist arrives in the meantime. She's in there, the hours going on. I got really busy with with other things and you know, I felt awful that poor counselor. Felt awful because she, you know, she was saying the same thing you're saying. I don't know what else I could have done. Yeah, and and there really wasn't. She was in a very bad position. So anyway, a little about an hour later, wait before the hour later, I actually got on the mic and I started talking about fear, because this was a woman who was obviously afraid of dying and it was fear that was fueling this decision. This was a time when I felt the MIC would be useful to address. I didn't talk about people in a high risk pregnancy or anything like that. I just I address the issue of fear over the microphone and we know that, or we think that, they can hear us in the bit in the back room. And then I see, like an hour later, her car pull out again. The abortionist has come. So I'm assuming she had the abortion. Yeah, and she stopped for that very counselor who had been videotaping her. Told that counselor she had chosen life. That counselor started crying. I'm I'm way on the other side, by the way, I'm waiting, way down the street, but I'm seeing and thinking, wait, I think that's that car. And then I see that counselor hand her blessing bag, which I know means she's changed her mind. We've given her a gift. She's chosen life. And and at as she's coming towards me, she instantly pulls over, rolls down her window and said I didn't do it, and I has laid my head down on the window and started sobbing because I was it had been so emotional right and I had thought this baby was dead and here it was still alive. She had saved the baby's life and and the my main kind of point is here in this segment of it, is just never give up. Yeah, net never, never give up, and rejoice that that in you were there and privileged to see right it' this amazing transformation.

So the end of the story, though, that isn't in here. Is She wanted to mentor from our from our love life program she wanted to mentor someone that would walk alongside her as her story unfolds. It turns out she actually went back later to the OBGYN. It was not as high risk as she had indicated. Yeah, you know, she needs to be followed and she should be followed by a his doctor, but that generally these things turn out fine. She'll they'll take the baby a little early. Do is see section a little early. So if she goes into Labor yet there is a danger of the the uter in rupture, but probably not through the rest of the pregnancy and they know what to look for. But Um, what she told me was, first of all, she did know that that man was a jerk coming over, from what he she said he tried to run you over and I said, you know the lady taping you. We destroyed that tape. I want you to know. As soon as he didn't hit me, we knew we didn't need that video. We took it off our phones. It's deleted. And she said, Oh, I knew, I knew why you were taping me. So you're right, Daniel, she did know. Yeah, she knew, and it was part of an excuse to go back in. But she said while she was in there for an hour. She was in there. She said she told them, she went to the front. I said listen, give me a minute. She sat down. That minute turned into an hour. She was crying most of the time and she said what, what opened her heart to considering life was the prayer. It wasn't really what we had said, it wasn't what I said in the prayer, it wasn't what she heard over the mic. It was that God was now forefront in her mind. Yeah, because we had prayed. Yeah, and so that's such a key, key element, I think, for us all to remember. Yeah, in our interactions with this mom you can pray with them and the very act of praying is what's important, not if you have the exact white words. Yeah, and then the even more wonderful additional end of the story. She stood up, she finally, she said, God just finally said you can't do this. She stood up and she she was horrified by the callous, hardheartedness and even just joking manner of so many of the women in there as they're about to kill their baby while she's going through all of this ankst yeah, she saw one other couple sitting in the waiting room and she said she knew looking at them that they were struggling with this decision. Yeah, she went over to them and said I'm going to leave, I'm going to keep my baby. You don't have to stay here. You know you can leave too. Yeah, and they got up and followed her out and left. So a few things. When that counselor was videotaping her and giving her an excuse to go in, if she hadn't gone in, she wouldn't have seen that couple, she wouldn't have had that war between good and evil, she wouldn't have seen it acting out right in front of her. Yeah, in the other clients and that second baby that was saved, might not have been saying yeah, so God uses so much. We had to be there, we had to be there, but look at how everything worked together. Yeah, for the good of those who...

...love the Lord and have been called according to his purpose. Yeah, yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, it's amazing. It's encouraging. Yeah, and so, guys, we hope that this case study was an encouragement to you, guys, and that we gave you some principles and just kind of walked you through that story. There's still I mean the story is not over, that baby's not yet been born and there's still some mentoring that's taken place. And she said one of the main issues that she faced was her milk supply was running out and she needed formula. And I come to the office and guess what, there were two big cases of formula. So I called her and had her come meet me and yesterday I gave her the formula. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, so, guys. Yeah, yeah, we think this was a blessing. You hope it was a blessing to you. You can certainly reach out and share maybe some feedback, maybe some questions, maybe a little bit of encouragement. Maybe you want to throw a review, five story view into the the reviews only pocket kick that down the street at all. We take it, gladly, love it. We'd love some some positive reviews on our podcast. We'd love for you guys to share this podcast. Maybe it would be encouraging to someone else. So certainly we encourage you guys to share this episode with others. You can reach me Daniel Love Life Dot Org. If you have suggestions for other episode, you can reach Vicky, Vicky at Love Life Dot Org. Maybe you want to bounce some things off of Vicky, maybe you want to pick her brain on sidewalk counseling stuff. So I know she'd be more than happy to answer any questions that you guys have. Of but until next time, God bless God, bless you all. Give me our lift for love. Give me our life for gratitude. I know it will cost me my life. Nothing's too precious. And some met you.

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