Gospel-Centered Pro-Life Podcast
Gospel-Centered Pro-Life Podcast

Episode · 2 years ago

Empowering Vs. Enabling (Part 2) - Ministering to Abortion Minded Women

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

This is the second part of our two-part episode on empowering rather than enabling while ministering to abortion-minded women. We believe that these principles don't just apply to pro-life ministry but can be applied to any ministry so please be encouraged to share this with anyone you know will be blessed by it.

https://sidewalks4life.com/empowering-vs-enabling/

charlotte.cities4life.org

I Am Yours, I am yours, I am yours. Send Me, Lord, I am Your Welcome to the Gospel Center pro life podcast. This is part two of a two part episode we're doing called empowering versus enabling. This is an important subject. We hope you're blessed by part one. We know you'll be blessed by part Ti. SI, stay too. I felt show passish, touch your heart. Use Welcome back to the Gospel Center pro life podcast. This is part two of a two part podcast that we're doing called empowering versus enabling and focused on reaching abortion minded women. But I really feel like these principles that we're talking about can go across the whole spectrum of Christian Ministry. Right, I agree. I agree, and so even if you know, maybe you're in pro life ministry, whatever, and you have friends that are in other ministries, hey share this with them. I think it'll be helpful. I think the scriptural principles, I don't think we're that smart. Actually, we have God's word that's a lot smarter than we are to tell us these principles. But there's time for that. Yeah, Amen. Amen, because if we were stuck with our own wisdom, word we'd been we'd be in deep due do right. But here we are talking about before we kind of laid out a biblical understanding, a Biblical case and and again we're going to share some scriptures in this because we just can't help it, because God's words so full of examples and so full of wisdom that we want to bring those into it. But there's an article that you mentioned and that gets some really practical things to consider as you're considering whether or not you're enabling or empowering someone. Yeah, and that article, which will link in in this article, because we talked about before how we're going to put this article on the sidewalks for life site. So they'll be a link to that article. So the article in sidewalks for life will be linked in the show notes here in the podcast. Okay, and then this article will be linked inside of that article. wowactly, great. Yeah, not confusing at all. So let's jump into that article. There's five points into this. And what's the title the Article? It's called practicing boundaries, love versus enabling and in the author is John Townsend. Okay, so you can look that up if you guys want to read this order and it's biblical. Yeah, it's a biblical article. So so the author poses five questions, okay, that we can ask ourselves to biblically discern. Are we acting in love? Compassion, empowerment? He doesn't use the word empowerment, but but I think that is what he means. Yeah, versus enabling. Yeah, I like the fact that he uses love versus enabling, because you know love, as we talked about the previous podcast, can be quite do with enabling and its not at all. I might feel enabling, might feel good and you might feel...

...like you're doing the loving thing. Reality is, you know, I'm sure Rebecca, as we mentioned before, felt like she was doing the loving thing to but Jacob in a position where he can get the blessing right, but she was not loving him actually, because he was leading him and enabling destructive behavior. Rights feature, enabling unrighteousness, which which that that First Corinthians Thirteen passage tells us we should not do. That's not acting in love. Okay. So the the first question, as we try to discern are we enabling or loving and loving properly, is are they unable? And Okay, are they? Are they unable? Are Those who we are helping unable to do whatever it is that we're helping with. Okay, and he in that article he talks about that. It's important to contrast with that unable versus unwilling. Okay. So are they unable at this moment to work? For example, a new mom with a brand new baby and five other children and child cares a thousand a month, she might be unable at that period when she meets us to hold down a job. Yeah, or does she have child care through? You know, there are all kinds of childcare programs and and she's not going to have that baby for eight months. She's newly pregnant, she's got tons of family support. Is She just didn't want to work? So is she UN unwilling? Yeah, so the fur wait. First of all, we are commanded, and we'll reiterate some of the some verses that talk about that. We are commanded to love and to carry each other's burdens. Here's a great one that says that's specifically Galatian six. To carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Yeah, and the Law of Christ is love. Anytime you see even the New Testament where it talks about the law of Christ. WHAT'S THE LAW OF CHRIST? The Law of Christ is to love, love one another and to love, to love God. Yeah, yeah, so, and in doing so the way we do so, according to this verse, we carry each other's burdens, but we have to be careful that the burden that we're carrying is one that they are truly unable. Yeah, that it's truly actually even a burden. I mean it might not be a burden, you know, like your example, with you finding a job. Yeah, that's you know, that's an important part, yeah, of providing for a families, having a job and all the other thing. But we've encountered women who simply just don't want to work who, yeah, you know, could hold down a decent job. Yeah, and could even get benefits, but they know that they could do, I can do medicate and food stamps and therefore, even though I have this skill set right, I'm not going to employ it for for the benefit of my family. I'm just gonna yeah, and then that gets into a whole other can of worms that we are not going to get into.

But you know, does the government, in their assistance programs, are they are they enabling or empowering. We've certainly said I've seen both. I don't I've seen the effects of government programs. That of I'll see whole fans. Sometimes I'll go to these mom's homes to do a baby shower or visit or whatever, and I'll see five or six able bodied men just hanging around during day hours and it and and I'm like your game, how how cold? How can this be? How they have a home, they have food. Where is that money come from? Nobody's working while the money is coming from an enabling program yeah, and of course we've seen we've seen the other where, you know, Medicaid programs and and even food stamp programs can actually empower people. Right. Yeah, and to get into position, I a lot of it depends on what we talked about before, the condition of the heart, and you know the way the heart, the disposition of the heart. Is this one where I want to just be enabled, or is this one where I need some stepping stones that will empower me to get into a better place? And of course that's that's ultimately where the Biblical Truth and the Gospel comes in, where these women are empowered by the Gospel to have a change of heart and then these things that could be used to empower or enabled are actually used to empower. Right. Yeah, so, you know. So in in interviewing, and we do kind of interview the MOMS that we work with to get a sense of what their needs are, this would be an important first step. Yeah, what are they unable to do? That truly is a place of need. What are they unwilling to do that we may need to help them to take more self responsibility? Really good point is it's the next point. There these questions that we would ask ourselves if, Hey, am I enabling and my empower? Yeah, yeah, and that sort of thing. Okay, the second one is are you resourced? In other words, do you have the resources to meet whatever the needs are? Yeah, of that mom. So the example that this author gives is if he's talking about personal ministry, as supposed to a ministry like ours, like cities for life, but personally, if it results in the inability to feed your family helping someone else will, then you're disregarding one of God's clear principles that you are to take care of your family. You know, ministries like cities for life are made up of individuals and a lot of our sidewall counselors make, I mean all of them make sacrifices to be out there, and that's one of the things that I'll tell because, dealing with the issue of abortion, there a lot of people that God gets a hold of their heart and they're very passionate about this thing and they're like, well, I'm going to come out Monday. When you what day you want to come out? Oh, I'll come out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Or are they open Sunday too? Because I'll be out here there. And it's like, hold on, wait, wait a second. Your homeschool mom of three kids or for kids, or you're you're a dad that has to provide for your family. Put the brakes on for a second. Your first ministries to your family, and so'll you our sidewalk counsel make sure they understand if you're if you got a neglect your minister, your first ministry...

...to your family in order to do this ministry doesn't mean you don't mean need to make sacrifices. You might miss a soccer game for one of your kids. You know I've missed some soccer. Is from some softball games for some of my kids because I have to be out there on Saturday because there's nobody else going to be there. I had to make sacrifices like that. But I gotta make sure I'm not neglecting my family and make sure I'm not taking you know, just a practical example of we've had sidewalk counselors take women who've chosen life into their homes and you really got to make sure that's something that God is in, that you're not doing it based on guilt and that you're not in this person. Maybe they could stay with a family member rather than stay with you, because that's a big sacrifice and it introduces a lot of other things rather than just a practical of having somebody else in your house. But there's other risks that are involved. You know, a boyfriend who might be abusive might come over to the House one day and that puts your family a jeopardy. So, anyway, we need to make sure we have the resources in the ability and then we're not doing something outside of the scope of what what we're really enabled by God to do right, empowered, I'll say, empowered by God exactly. And so the scripture that he, the author, puts in. There's a good one. First, Timothy Eight. Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and it's worse than an unbeliever. So that's pretty you know, x, I think you can James Jusus infidel and a fidel. Yeah, that's interesting. It's really important and implying that, I kind of took it a step further, thinking, well, how would this principle be applied to a ministry as opposed to a family? And all ministries, I almost without exception, are strapped for finances and Resources and volunteers. And if a single mother, for example, in our ministry and a Pro Life Ministry, is sapping all of our strength, all of our volunteers, all of our resources, yeah, that's probably a dangerous balance. Yeah, we'll. Practically speaking, as far as we're concerned, you know our ministries to abortion minded moms and that's you. We have our baby shower ministry and it's sort of a supplemental ministry because we have other ministries that do that, but we do through baby showers on a regular basis and we have donations that are given to us. People give us clothes and all these other things, and I've had, you know, the past year or so or more, we've had women that have come to us because a friend of theirs had chosen life. We give gave them a baby shower and they come to us and say, well, I'm not really abortion minded, but I need some baby items, and we have met some of those needs. But we have to be careful because if our resources, if we're focused on abortion minded women and we give a resources that we would otherwise give to abortion minded women who might come along in needing we give those two women who are not abortion minded, then we're sort of missing what God has called us to do. Like there are other men industries that can do that, and we need to do our best to stay in our lane, even though, you know, I feel sort of bad. Turnam my mom. Yeah, idea to you, but yeah,...

...but we still, you know, we only have so many resource right, right. That's the reality. Yeah, and to use what God has given us as with good stewardship. We're to be good stewards of what he's given to us and to keep our focus on where he has directed as our purpose. Yeah, so, okay, the third principle that he's or question to ask yourself. Do they have skin in the game? Okay, and what he means by that is the person willing to be a part of the solution. Are they going to help yeah, in in solving their crisis and solving their problems and making better choices whatever, or are they just going to sit back, refuse to be a part of it and just let you shower them with all the resources? And the author makes the point that if that person that you're helping refuses to help herself, then you are likely prone promoting what's called learned helplessness, and that's when someone has learned to let over, others take over without offering any help for themselves. They can become passive and give up, and I tell you, I've seen that. I have definitely seen that. Not only do they become passive, but they then sometimes be gone. Become almost as though you owe this to me. You told me, I have heard this many times, that you said that if I chose life, you would help me. And if we don't keep helping them, they perceive that as a as that we lied. Yeah about that we would help them, and so this whole guilt thing comes in and you have to really analyze. Well, I did say that, but at what point is it truly not help? Yeah, it is. It is helping them to learn how to become dependent on someone else when they really need to be first dependent on God. But they also need to be responsible. Yeah, and we always do make sure that when we say we're going to help them that we pretty well define what we're talking about. We're not talking about buying everything you ever need in your entire life. We're not talking about, you know, sending your kid to college. You know, what we're talking about is helping meet your immediate needs. Here's how far we give them with the baby shower ministry, to make sure they know, hey, we want to give you up to two years of what you need for your baby, but that doesn't include diaper exs, you know. Number one, that just being possible, right. Number two, even if we did give you two years, where the diapers, you couldn't keep going anything where yours. Yeah, but also, you know, it's that would be again, that would be a financial and logistical positive impossibility. That's right. It goes right. So and the scriptural support, so that you know, maybe we shouldn't feel so guilty when it's not. It's not the scripture that everyone quotes. God helps those that help them so, which is not script it is nicely, let's good. No, it's second Thessalonians, three and ten. Okay, the one who is unwilling to work shall not eat. There is the principle that, you...

...know, don't work, you don't eat. Done, and you know, to have skin in the game. Yeah, you got have skin in the game, and I hear this a lot. Well, if you just, you know, just sit there and let God let go and yeah, let me. Well, that doesn't mean that that you do nothing. Yeah, God, God does give us body. It's like when you when you need a job, it's like, yeah, I'm waiting on God to leave me. Yeah, have you feel that? Any applications for job? No, no, I'm letting go and letting God. I'm putting this in God's hands. Well, no, God's putting it in your hands to get off your couch and get make some phone calls, right, looking for a job or or whatever exactly. I'm also, you know, this kind of this skin in the game principle is is this idea of you know, we have this you within our ministry, and I'm sure other ministries have this where they have the network of ministries, other other ministries that can meet needs and all of that, and we don't need to be responsible. We sometimes we can make the phone calls and that sort of thing, but we don't need to be responsible for making every connection and making every phone call. You know, we have a little resource God that we can go in and we can circle. Hey, if this is your Nie, call these people, you call these people now. Some of those ministries we actually have to call ahead of time because we have the connection and they want to hear that list. is a legitimate need that I met. But we need to kind of put some it up, some of it off on them, and they used to take some initiative, and I think when we do that, this is really ministry again. When you when you do that right away, when you just ride away put forth this idea that we're going to meet all your needs, want to do everything for you, then you're already opening in the door for this enabling thing. Yeah, but if right away you start telling them, okay, here's the things that we're going to do and here's the things that I need for you to do. What that'll do? This is an important point. So what that will do is that will give you a gage where they're at. It'll also let them know where you're at and that you're not just going to be be taken advantage of. And you know you'll find sometimes that if they won't do their part and you've done your part, then you just leave the ball in their court. Like here it. We've done our part, so that I don't kind of, I don't want to say give you an out, but at least again gives you a gage of where they're at and whether they're going to be one of those people that's just going to try to suck resources out rather than actually do they actually want to be empowered. Yeah, and it's also it's also protective of few, because I know as a new counselor, I tried to do it all. Yeah, and I did enable. I'm very certain I enabled. I made all the cause I would, I would drive hours to go make sure that I got them to wherever they needed to be, and I was burning out because no one can do that, not for very long and not at not as soon as you start following more than one or two women. Yeah, so. So it protects us if they have skin in the game, but it also protects them. Yeah, it does it. It is again, this is about real love. This is about loving people to the Lord, right, loving people in such a way where they learn not to come to you but to go to the Lord. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So number four, and this...

...is the one we probably struggled with the most. Ye, like said right that. So let's talk about because it I think there is some validity and in what he's saying here. Will you feel cheerful or will you feel reluctant or under compulsion in your giving? And so this question, let me just preface that, is based on this scripture from Second Corinthians seven. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. Yeah, and you know, I guess I'm just not not crazy about the the language. And how do you feel about this? This is not really because we talked about that previously. It's not really about a feeling. It's about loving people and not getting a warm and fuzzy feeling. But the point here is that God loves a cheerful giver and this should flow out of our heart, our desire to love God and to love our neighbor. And you know, we don't want to have this reluctance in because because here's what will happen. Sometimes, when you give reluctantly and you pull yourself out in certain ways, in a reluctant way, you end up getting burned and you want to end up getting burned out and and it doesn't help you and it doesn't help the person that you're trying to empower. Yeah, yeah, I think, and I think one of the points that I really summarized what this author had said when I wrote the article and as I'm speaking you all. But I think one of his points that he expanded upon is if you're feeling reluctance and you know that you're a giving person, you you love the Lord and you you're involved in ministry that gives to others, but you're feeling this reluctance in your spirit, yes, you should check your heart. Maybe it is something that's wrong in your heart, but it could be that you are over extending and God is giving you that sense of reluctance because you're doing too much yeah, for for that person and you need to back off. And and it might be, it might be, yeah, something that's saying you're enabling rather than empowering. Yeah, maybe, you know, we're going to get on to the next point. Five, maybe a six point, or maybe for B or for a in this point would be, you know, talking to other people, especially people in your family's and hey, you feel like I'm enabling this person. Yeah, so you know, other people can help you and their emotions and their feelings that you're sharing this story. Yeah, can help them say, Hey, listen, you're going too far with this person, you're being taken advantage of. Right, and you know, I know I shared in the previous podcast about uncle's that in my family that you have been enabled and it's like I've talked to US family members and like hey, listen, don't you see you're enabling this person, like you're not helping out this person. Yeah, all of us had family members, probably right, who have been enabled by other people and you feel it's all because of guilty. He's my he's my uncle, he's my brother, he's musts and where she's my sisters. Your family said exactly. Tell us that. Yeah, yeah, and...

...we're not supposed to enable, we're not supposing able, and so, you know, getting other people's take on it, yeah, can help as well. Hey, sharing the story with them, you know, obviously not getting into gossip Ville, but sharing the story with them. Hey, what do you think about this? Am I enabling him and empowering you know, I would say, even, especially in this context, to talking to your pastor and saying hey, because you know they have the these experiences as well. Say Hey, your pastor, so own. So I'm helping this mom and you know I've done this, done that, and yet she's asking me to do this and I don't really know if I should. I feel guilty for not, but you know, and that that would be helpful as well, if you're something I thought of as you were talking, because I think this again, has been true of me at times, is if you're sacrificing your own health. Yeah, you're not sleeping, you're not eating, you're not taking breaks, you're consumed all the time. That's that's not good. Yeah, you know, you do need to love yourself if you're going to be able to adequately love your neighbor. You've got at least be alive. So take care of right, take care of your health, or you may be over extending. Yeah, absolutely, okay. Number five, I thought was the best one, and that was the last one in this article. Is the outcome gratitude and autonomy or entitlement and dependency? Yeah, and that really, that point really speaks to the whole thing what were even talking about? It sure does, it sure does. So and I again, I have seen so many times in the women I've worked with that ultimately I guess I had enabled them is they don't say thank you and they'll say you told me. I think I made that point earlier. You told me you would help. Yeah, and and then you haven't done anything. And someone said that to me once and we had literally helped with thousands of dollars worth of so yeses, and when she said that I was just taken aback and that was the point at which I realized maybe we need maybe we're enabling. Have I remembered the story correctly, because I know the story you're talking about is you called her out on that. I did. I did, man, I listed hi because actually it made me angry. I hope it was that righteous saying gright. I didn't scream at her, but I, you know, at I felt at first as a tinge of guilt, and then I thought, wait a minute, and I started listening from the moment we had met her to to that moment, all the things that we had done, and she actually graciously then said, you're absolutely right, I'm sorry, you guys have helped me a lot. I'm just feeling really desperate. Yeah, and then we were able to have a conversation of how she could help herself out of that, that desperate place. Yeah, but the scripture they he provided was matthew eighteen. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. In other words, if you've planted good things, you have been net you have promoted autonomy and and helped them to to do...

...for themselves in a godly manner, you're going to see good fruit. Yeah, if all you see is is ingratitude and dependence and increasing dependence, then that's bad for yeah, that's yeah. I mean one of the things is to you that mean this is this is like key. But we live in an entitlement generation and people think they're entitled to things. People think that, you know, even like the government you know, when they get assistance from the government, like the government owes me and in that you know, I'm do this, I'm do that. Mentality is hard to cut through. It is really very cultural. Yeah, now, of course the Gospel can cut right through that garbage. And you know, we've seen women's lives transform. You heard here testimonies of people who've been transformed from this entitlement mentality to an intial mentality of empowerment by the power of the Holy Spirit. Yeah, you know, Yeah, God can do it. Yeah, kind of one of the I can't remember if it was his point of mind point, but it's a good point whatever it is. Yeah, that if if the woman falls into destructive choices, that's key, that again, she falls back into destructive choices, then the help being offered has become a source of enaplement. Yes, that's kind of a clue freeze, good gage for yeah, all right, well, let's jump into this. This is going to kind of this is about for us capping our our podcast on this subject. But okay, so it's the I thought it was just a really great biblical passage of of doing it. Well, yeah, of doing figuring out whether I'm empowering or enabling. And our hero is Peter. Yeah, in this passage, and it's act three. So maybe is this is just to set the stage and then you can take over with that. Peter is he's a man who has been lame from birth and who asked Peter for money. Yeah, and and and to receive all and he's been getting heat since birth. He's been lame, I believe, and so he's been and he's a man now, and so he has been requesting funds, money for his entire life. And so Peter shows us what it means to empower, the goal of empowerment and how to empower. Yeah, yeah, and in the Scriptures is acts, chapter three, and it says this man was here. It says a certain man, lame from his mother's womb, which he was lame from birth, right, was carried and he was late at the gate, beautiful name of this gate, apparently, and he was asking alms from those who entered the temple and in verse three, who, seeing Peter and John About to going to the temple, asked for arms. He was asking for for some money. Yeah, and it says, and fixing his eyes on him with John,...

Peter said look at us. So it's like, Hey, I'll look like you know, I think it, boy, that sometimes like you're asking me for money, I'm broker, you are you know. Seems like maybe that's what he's like. Really, I mean, look at look at it. Yeah, that's right. I've actually told the homeless people that before, like I don't have any moneyless I got eight kids somewhere's all these kids out of the mouth? Yeah, yeah, anyway, that's a little bit funny there, but let's keep on going. And so he gave them his attention expecting receive something. So he's like, look at us, Hey, we don't have anything. And so he turns to him and it says Peter said silver and gold. I do not have. What I do have, I give you in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk. And he took him by the right hand and lifting him up. Immediately, his feet and ankle bones receive strength and he we had a leap and stood up and walked, and it went to the temple with them and it says all the people saw him walking and praising God and they knew it was him who sat bagging alms at the gate beautiful. And ultimately what happens in this scenario is this man is praising God, the miracles just been done in the name of Jesus, and the Pharisees, the rulers, are not so happy be at what's going on here. Now the part that we're really pointing now this guy's asking for money. Yeah, but what would have Peter and John Do? It's like, we don't have money, HMM, but what we do have we give you. And ultimately, was he do say look how great we are? You know he he could have done that. Let Mean Peters Healing this guy who's been lame from his mother's womb rose up. Well, he didn't do that. Yeah, he says, in the name of Jesus, Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk. And then later on in the story, as this guy's praising God and they're being accused by the Pharisees of wrongdoing or whatever, he's using it as an opportunity for the Gospel. He goes later on in the neck in the preceding verses, talking about Jesus, pointing him to the Gospel and pointing to what, pointing them to what Jesus had done, and he's saying, you know, don't look at us, this was done because of Jesus, because what Jesus has done his power working through them. Yeah, and he ends that with therefore, repent and return so that your sins may be wiped away in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord. So he closes with a full kind of Gospel invitation. Yeah, absolutely. So there is a lot of principles when I was reading through this that I was thinking of. Wow, this is really good in helping me to discern between Enablementon and actually biblical love. But one of the things he says, but what I do have, I give to you, and that really jumped out of me when you're reading it, because we can't give what we don't have, right. Yeah, you say that a thousand times to our our volunteers. That what all of us should have. We may not have material wealth, we should have...

...the Bible stored in our heart. Yeah, and and a rich reservoir of understanding scripture that we can then offer to those in need. Yeah, and and, and God had never asks us really to give what we don't have. This is one of the things that I say often times. I say God never asked if you more than you can give. He's not an Egyptian task master. Ask and you make bricks without straw, right, but what you do, what you are able to give, God will ask for. Yeah, he asked for us to make sacrifices, right, we understand that, but I never going to ask you to give more than you can actually give. And so again that you know those principles before. If you're taken away from your family, if you're neglecting that, if you're neglecting your own health, if you're neglecting sleep or whatever, then God's not asking for you more than you can actually give, if he's not stretching you so thin that you're going to break right. And and to that point back earlier, do you feel reluctance? Well, I feel joy when God asks something of me that I know I've got inside of me. Or maybe it is a resource, but usually it's something inside of me. I know I've got that to give to them. It's like you can't hold me back. I'm filled with choice and if it's a sacrifice, it's still it's joyfless joyful sacrifice. So so I wrote out what I thought were the the principles of compassion versus, enabling love versus and really it comes right out of this, this passage, that right from this passage of scree. Yeah, let's touch on those real quick and then we'll get this and then we'll wrap it up. All right. So, give what you're able to give. We just said get. got. God is only going to ask you to give what he has enabled you to give. Yeah. Secondly, determine what are the desires of the one you intend to help and discern what are the true critical needs. Yes, do. They might have some sort of surface level like his was a surface level need money, whenever, really, the deep need was if he could have strengthen his feet in his ankles, he could walk and he could actually work. And you be like giving somebody efficient lessons rather than giving them a fish. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, number three, sometimes what is asked for is not healthy and should not be indulged. Yeah, you know, when we meet a mom on the sidewalks, we one of the first things we do is say, whatever you face, we can help you. Now, we're not going to slop everything, but we can help. And but sometimes when they come and they start listing their obstacles, some of what they face that they have listed for not as an obstacle that they want solved. It's actually not a healthy need or desire. And is it enabling or love thing? Yeah, to to say yes, we can meet that need, that need that you shouldn't have and shouldn't express, because it's not of guy like you know, example, you know, you know, I'm pregnant, but a smoke and I need a pack of cigarette. That's an extreme example, but I'm not going to help. But that needs. Matter of fact, it's not that you need. Yeah, again, that's an extreme example. I don't think we've ever faced that, but well, I that actually, yes, I have actually faced that, okay, where there was...

...asked for money for cigarettes. Yeah, specifically. Yeah, it's like no, you're pregnant, number one. Number two, cigarettes are horrible, even if you're not pregnant. This is a really important one, probably the key point, I think, in this passage. All love and compassion should ultimately result in the person turning not to you but to God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think we've we've seizoned this whole thing with that, that point that it needs to be not cities for life. That's meeting your needs. Right, it's the lore. Yes, it's God, it's God through his people, right, but it's God ultimately. You right coming to yeah, and that's awesome that Peter, of course, full of the Holy Spirit, does that points them to Jesus, not to himself, not to John, not to you know anything, but but to Jesus. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and so the last two points really kind of relate to that. You should give all glory to God for anything offered to others. Again, it's not me, Vicki, that has helped anyone. It's the Holy Spirit living within me and he's used me. Yeah, but ultimately the glory all goes to God. And one of the just kind of a side note, one of the struggles, I think of any anyone in any ministry. But I do think in in a tough ministry, like being in front of an abortion center, for example, trying to convince abortion determined women that they shouldn't kill their babies, there can be a lot of discouragement and a lot of what looks like failure. Yeah, I talked to a woman a couple yesterday, a full hour, a whole hour. My voice was was breaking. I was I gave everything I had and they ended up going in. Yeah, and it now they actually had if you have a good reason, which I don't think there is a good reason, but it was a pretty compelling reason to a board. It was. I got it, I understood it. Yeah, I still disagreed with it. Yeah, but I you know it. I think it's almost impossible for US humanly to not feel like, what could I have done? I have failed. But I think this principle. All glory goes to God in the victories, but really all glory goes to God in what is perceived as a failure as well. It's not us. Yeah, he empowered us to do whatever we did and if we did it to the best of our ability, he's he's the one that's responsible for the results. Yeah, and ultimately, when it what looks like whin or loss, we know God is glorified one way or another, maybe even in just how we comported ourselves. Yeah, in that interaction. Yeah, and then the last one. Your compassion should be a testimony to others of the power, love and hope of God. Yeah, and and I think a nice closing verse, Matthew. Thirty one. So the crowd marveled as they saw the mute speaking, the cripple restored and the lame walking and the blind scene, and they glorified the God of Israel. Yeah, and all...

...those acts of compassion. The end result was that the people glorified God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a good way to end. So hope this podcast was a blessing to you. Guys. If you have any questions about anything we've talked about and and want to connect with us, you can always connect with me, d parks at cities for Lifecom v Cassi, Oregon cities for lifecom. If you want to connect with Vicky, go to our website. Will have a link in the show notes of this article on the sidewalks for life site and you'll be able to reache this article yourself and I think it'll be a blessing to you. If you have any suggestions for other podcasts, any subjects you'd like for us to cover, you know we focus on sidewalk counseling a lot because it's what we do, but we also hope it can be broad enough. The things that we talked about can be broad enough to speak to pregnancy center workers and directors and speak to people and whatever, Pro Life Ministry or just prolife people in general. If you're if you're, you know, just thinking about pro life stuff, hope these are these are a real blessing to you. So share them with other people. Share them with people in your circle, sharing with people on facebook. You know, you can grab a link from itunes or from the PODCAST APP. If you're using apple and other podcasts, you can get a link. There's a share button somewhere. We can get a link and you can share that on facebook and say, Hey, this podcast was a blessing. Check it out, because the more people that get this information, you know, I believe, the more people be blessed and be empowered to empower other people to ultimately bring glory to God, because that's what it's all about. It's about glorifying Jesus, about drawing people to him. It's not about us, it's not about cities for life or any other ministry. It is about the Lord Jesus. And so with that in mind, we appreciate all those who listen and we appreciate you time and and until next time, God bless me, ove for love, give me our lift for gratitude. I know it will cost me my love. Nothing's too precious, and some you.

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