Gospel-Centered Pro-Life Podcast
Gospel-Centered Pro-Life Podcast

Episode 115 · 9 months ago

You’re Making Me Feel Bad

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

We hear various objections to our ministry on the sidewalk. You’re making me feel bad is just one of many phrases we hear. In this episode, we explore what the Bible has to say about this statement and how we can graciously answer when we hear this.

I Am Yours, I am yours, I am yours. S and me, Lord, I am yours, I am yours. I'm welcome to the Gospel Center Pray Life Podcast, a podcast designed to equip, encourage and challenge you in pro life ministry, and always with a focus on the Gospel. Stay tuned. I felt show passish, touch your heart. Use Me. Welcome back to the Gospel Center pro life podcast. Appreciate you guys joining us and we're here recording. We're actually I'm here, Vicki's there. From her perspective, I'm there and she's here and here you're there. Yeah, I was here first. I've really yes, yes, you were recording remotely and so, as in the past couple of episodes, we've kind of given you guys that as claimer. If you hear some weird wonky things going on, we're doing the best we can to record in good quality, but there can be some things that happen from I mean all the way from the West Coast to the east coast, through the wires and all that stuff. You know, demons like to get in there and stir up trouble and and things get cut out and you know all of that. So doing the best we can to give you guys a highest quatity, call quality listening experience that we can. But the most important thing thing is that we speak the truth, and so we're going to be coming, as always, from a biblical perspective and speaking from experiences on the sidewalk, stuff that we have encountered ourselves and just want to equip you, guess. And so, as you know, if you've been listened to this podcast or any length of time, we're we're speaking from our experiences or questions that other people have asked us, things that just kind of pop up in conversations. Hey, this will be a good podcast to cover. And this is. This is in that same vein, and so we're what are we going to be talking about today, Vicky? Well, we hear this all the time from pro abortion people, from the MOMS, from support people. They'll say, why are you making them feel bad? Yeah, don't you see, you're making them cry, and they tell us that therefore, we should be quiet because we're causing grief. Yeah, we're causing guilt, shame, whatever. So we thought it would be a really good idea to talk through that, because it's easy for us to fall prey to what we're accused of. Yeah, and to believe it. And I think it's really important, as always, to go to the Bible. The Bible is such a great guide in and it has a lot to say about what our speech should be. Yeah, what it what it should convey, and even how we should speak. So that's what we did with this this podcast. The kind of the working title is how we're how should we respond to women who say they are making us feel bad? Yeah, and so we've examined that from a biblical standpoint. Yeah, yeah, I mean, certainly we hear a lot of things, a lot of objections to our presence out there on the sidewalk. One of them is, of course, you're making them feel bad. You. A lot of times it's a dad who will come out and say you're making my girlfriend feel bad. I mean, I've even been threatened that, you know, if you don't stop talking to my girlfriend and while wife, then I'm going to punch your lights out because you're making me feel bad. There's a lot of other things that we hear that you know, you're judging. Why are you judging? Why are you guys out here trying to make yourselves look righteous. You know, it's like you get all these accusations and so you just of course, gas be prepared that people are going to accuse you of all kinds of things and know ultimately, what the source is. The source is the flesh and the devil. Right, it's the devil trying to discourage you. It's people in their flesh trying to defend themselves and trying to make really an apologetic for why you...

...shouldn't be out there, but it's okay for them to be there to kill their child. And so we can't let these things shake us. But we do need to consider what people are saying and because we want to reach them, we don't want to just say well, you're concerned, doesn't matter, and just ignore them when they say you're making me feel bad. I think there's good ways to respond, healthy ways to respond. I think one of the things that we've all always said all along is that we want to identify with people's pain. We want to have compassion, you know, we want to suffer with them and if they feel bad, we know it's because their conscience is what's bothering them. Ultimately, they feel bad because they know what they're doing is wrong. But there's a way for us to identify with their pain and to kind of enter into their struggle with them without just saying well, you know it, because you can respond you're feeling bad because what you're doing is wrong. I think that could be a chetive said. It may not be the most helpful, but I have said that before. Yeah, but you know, I think again, like we've said often times, your tone can can mean a lot. You can say that and I think that it's appropriate to say that, but kind of an accusatory tone is not going to be helpful. You know, you feel bad because you should feel bad because you're about to kill your baby. You can say that more calmly like you could ask the question. So why do you think what I'm saying makes you feel bad? Is it because what I'm saying bothers your conscience? Is it? Is it possible? This is the question I would ask. Is it possible that you feel bad because you know God would never want you to do what you're about to do? Is that possible? You know it is. So. So I guess the the very first thought when we're encountering anyone questioning how we're speaking to them as well, what? What is the overarching biblical principle of our speech? What? What should our speech be? And I I did research that, you know, from a biblical standpoint and I would say if I had to choose one word for our speech, it should be at a fine. Yeah, it should be at a fine. And and so I did a word search then of of versus in the Bible, of which there's Zillions, that talk about at a fine or the word at a fire, at a fine or are in those verses and we go through some of them in an article. Yea, we will include with this. But the first thing I did was that's a word that that we hear all the time at a fine, because it's throughout the Bible. That is what our speech is to be. So I looked up, well, what does that mean, literally in the in the dictionary, and it was pretty interesting. So I wrote it down. At this was from the Oxford Dictionary. I think that is a well respected dictionary. Sure, I don't really know. I don't think it's as great as webster's dictionary, but it'll do. Yeah, okay. Well, what came up on the Internet was oxen. All right. So, so at a fine originates from middle English and it's from the Latin and I won't say the word. It's too hard. I can't even figure out how to say it. But build or to make like an edifice, to build an edifice of a building. Yeah, and the word originally meant to construct a building. It also means to strengthen. And so the the meaning of those parts put together means to build up morally, and how Oxford defined edifying was to instruct or improve someone morally or intellectually. So at to edify someone we are literally building them up, we're and we're improving or instructing morally. Yeah. So so that, I think is a...

...good beginning place. And of course Oxford is not the Bible, right, and and so there we would of course want to use our edifying speech as the Bible defines, yeah, what that speech should be. And so so that's where I went through a whole bunch of different verses where the word edifyinge is used and and wanted to be sure that we understood what the Bible says, yea, about how we should be speaking. So the first one is Effesians for twenty nine. Okay, okay, and that says let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up. Remember, building up is means that define. Yeah, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to the those who hear. Yeah, okay, so it that gives a a bunch of clues, if in in what our speech should be. If, if we if we break that that down? Yeah, yeah, you know, want to pipe in real quick because as we talk about edifying, to me the word to edify of course means to build up, and I think that word has been applied, at least in the Christian circles, as we're to edify each other, right, we're to build one another up as fellow believers, and that's certainly true. Right, we need to build one another up, we need to edify one another. You know, it says, I think it's in First Corinthians Chapter Twelve and maybe First Corinthians chapter fourteen, where Paul's talking about the gifts of the spirit and the use of the gifts of the spirit in the church should be to edify others, not just to edify yourself. So there's certainly the context for that, right, that we need to edify each other and listen, we're on the sidewalk. Let's build each other up right, let's let's edify one another, let's speak words are going to encourage each other. But this word edification or edify doesn't just speak to encouraging, but it also speaks to like bringing people up to where they need to be morally. As you said in that that definition, that sometimes edifying words can sting a little bit. Right. I mean, if anyone was was an edifier, it was the Lord Jesus, right in his desire to edify the Pharisees. He confronts them, right, he confronts them in their departure from the truth and all of that. The goal is, though, not to tear down but to edify. But of course we know sometimes in order to build up there's got to be pride has got to be torn down. So if you edify somebody, sometimes what you're doing is tearing down their pride. But in this scripture where it talks about in Verse Twenty Nine of Ephesians Chapter for that we want to impart grace, or speak in such a way that imparts grace to the here that we don't don't want to just give information, but we want to speak in such a way that, yes, we might be tearing some things down, tearing down some lies, to bring these women or these men up morally to where they need to be, to edify them morally, but we want to speak in such a way that there's grace in it. Right, and then this mean we're Nice, but it means there's empowerment. The word grace speaks to not just kind of like we think this this idea of we're gracious or whatever. So we're Nice, but that biblical word, the word caress, I believe is the Greek word there, speaks of empowerment. And so we can speak in such a way where there's an empowerment in the words, and the words could maybe perceived to be tearing down, but the goal is actually to edify, to build up and to empower these men and women to do the right thing, right morally, to make good choices. Yeah, what I was thinking of when when I first read the definition where the word are only at if I is to construct a building. I was...

...thinking about that. What makes a building well constructed and strong and absolutely the first thing that must be there is a stable and firm foundation. Yeah, and so if we're going to edify. I think similarly, the foundation of our speech must be firm and stable and it therefore it must be biblical. Yeah, it must be based on Biblical truth. And when you find the MOMS and dad's at the abortion center countering us, they their truths are not biblical all they're they're often very selfish, self motivated and corrupted, and that effesions for twenty nine tells us that where we, on the other hand, are to not let corrupting talk come out of our mouth, we are not to have corrupt speech. And so I looked up corrupt because because I thought, okay, what does that mean? To have corrupt speech? And the verb corrupt means to change your debase by making errors or unintentional alterations, probably intentional as well. So, in other words, your speech is corrupt if you're not speaking truth, if you're altering the truth to suit the hearer, and and we can't do that. That's what they're asking us to do. They're asking us don't feel bad, be silent and what you're speaking is is just to make yourself look good or whatever, when indeed we are speaking what the Bible not only commands us to speak, but what the Bible does. YEA, Hey, yeah, about what's happening there. Yeah, absolutely. And this is where, you know, from our perspective, as those who want to speak the truth, are those who are called to speak the truth, where we need to really examine the motive of our hearts is there can be a sense in which, and you know, I think we can all battle with this, where we can tear other people down in order to build ourselves up. So, you know, for example, we see these women going into the abortion centers and in our hearts, in our minds, we can think how horrible they are and we would never be like them, when in reality, what we're doing is we're tearing them down, we're bringing them down to a lower level than ourselves and make ourselves feel good because maybe we have our own struggles and things like that. We've got to make sure that we're coming from a proper motive, that we actually yes, we're going to speak truth and yes, we're going to view things properly. These women that are going into the abortion centers, they're bound in sin there, in rebellion to God, but so were we at one point. We need to put ourselves in in in the proper place that we, except for the mercy, in the grace of God, we would be right where they are in reality, right so that we can speak from such a way that imparts grace to the here and we're not just coming across. I guess my main point with this is when we speak to these women, to these men, we don't want to becoming across as accusatory or like somehow we're better than them. Now we're accused of that. You think you're better than me, you think you're better than these people, you think you're better than you know, the women are the men that have abortions. I don't actually I know my own heart, apart from Christ, and I'm far worse right. So I don't think that at all. We're accused of that, but we want to make sure we're not coming across and coming with a motive that lines up with that that we do think we man. We should never think that we're better than the people who are living in rebellion that God, because we at one time we're living in rebellion to God. Yeah, so motivation and tone are both really, really critical. One of the things that is always in my heart. Well, I guess not always because I'm not in glory yet. But but is am I obeying God? Yeah, and and what I'm about to say...

...or do, and and certainly I mean a great verse that talks about one of the reasons we should speak is Ezekiel, three, eighteen, nineteen, and that first says, if I say to the wicked, you will surely die. This is God, I guess, speaking. Ye, if I say to the wicked, you shall surely die and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way in order to save his life, that wicked person shall die for his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. But if you warn the wicked and he does not turn from his weakness or from his wicked way, he shall die for his iniquity, but you will have delivered your soul. So that almost sounds selfish, that I'm just looking out for myself, and I'm not. I'm not looking at that part of it. I'm looking at where, where God is saying, if you know the truth and you know they're on a path of wicked rebellion, and where that leads? That leads to hell. Yeah, it is not loving, nor is it really biblically allowed for us to be silent, right, we are to speak. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So part of that that verse that I also was thinking about in the effusions for twenty nine is where it says as fits the occasion. Yeah, so we're to speak as fits the occasion, and I was thinking maybe here's some thoughts on that. My thought was, well, the occasion is a baby's about to be killed, yeah, by her own parents. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And of course, again, the occasion is that we're standing in front of a place of darkness, in a place of death, but also, again, the reality that these are these are broken and hurting people. They've been deceived by the devil to do something that no mother whatever in her right mind want to do. Their under a spirit of fear. They've been gripped by fear, fear of what's going to happen in the future. So that's the occasion as well. Like we need to take in the totality of the picture. Yes, like I said earlier, they're in rebellion to God, a babies about to die. As you said, it's a place of darkness, in a place of death, but these women, these men are bound by sin. You know in just like there's a balance here with this right. People are responsible for their sin. So they don't give people a free pass on rebellion and Sin Against God. But we do need to understand too, that these people are blinded. The Bible says, the God of this age has blind in their eyes. Right, they're under a spirit of delusion, they're believing a lie, as we had at one point. So we need to take in the totality of the picture and I think that's why there's this hopefully, what you're getting from me, guys, is there's this tightrope walk of walking in the spirit and speaking, yes, with truth, because we're supposed to. We have to speak the truth, but also with with kindness, with gentleness, as the Bible says. So can you speak harsh truths like you're about to murder your child and do that in a loving way? Absolutely, absolutely you can. The Bible says that we can and that we should. But we ourselves need to be checking our own hearts. And if you want to do this, what I'm talking about, and thrive in its speak with truth and with grace, some might say. You've got to be walking with the Lord. You've got to have your heart before God. You've got to be in the scriptures, because it's a difficult balance. We can get we can get off balance one way or the other where you know, it's it's all truth and no grace. Are All grace and no truth, and so we don't want to be an all truth where you're just a bully and you're just beating people up with your words, and you don't want to be all grace where all you're talking about is how much God loves people. Right. Yeah, there's that balance there and it...

...takes us being in the scriptures, walking with God and each you know, each other holding each other accountable on the sidewalk there. That's that's important in this in this conversation, that we encourage each other, that we can edify each other by sometimes bringing some correction. I mean, I've been corrected before where I've gotten a little too in the flesh or whatever, got a little too angry at maybe a man that's come over and gotten in my face and he's cussing me out and I want to, you know, just kind of stick my finger back in his face. So I've been corrected on that level and I've corrected people on that level and that's that's most of the time when we get off the rails, as when we start to get angry and started getting in the flesh and get in you know, out of balance as far as just hammering people with the truth. So, you know, for us as believers in Jesus and as fellow sidewalk counselors, we need to hold each other kind of wing edify each other and bring corrective words sometimes. Yeah, and I don't know if you were reading ahead, but that's our next point in a and a really good point. It brought up a couple things that I didn't mention in the article but that I was thinking as you were speaking. One of them the next, the next main thing that our speech needs to be is should equip others the work of ministry, and that's exactly what you were talking about. But something that occurred to me as you were speaking about that Balance Between Truth and grace is God knows what he's doing. It's so often what I have found in the team's is that there is someone that maybe is more suited for speaking those harsh truths and someone else who balances that with maybe some more of that grace and love and gentle compassionate side so that the team really becomes like a unified body. Yeah, speaking towards those women and and and we help each other in that manner. That that we have different gifts. I do think every one of US needs to try and find that balance that you talked about. But I do know, like if I were as I think about my team members, there are some that I would probably characterize as more when hard truths need to be spoken, that's person I I really hope will speak up. And when there's someone may be broken and needs a little bit more of a gentle, compassion grace filled approach, there are some that are really really just suited for for that. Yeah, but one of the the verse that I found that speaks of that as Effesians for seventeen. I'm sure there's many others, but that our speech should equip the saints for the work of Ministry, for building up the body of Christ. And so I was thinking, okay, does that apply to when we're standing in front of an abortion center? And there were a few things I thought if I'm sure you'll have some other thoughts, Daniel, but one of them was that if one of US stands boldly for truth, speaking truth, it has an encouraging effect on everyone. Yeah, there, and it I just just as the same as true from the perspective of the mom's going into that abortion center. If they're and we've seen this happen sometimes, where one will stand up boldly saying hey, this is wrong and I'm leaving, and others will follow. Yeah. So when when we stand boldly and speak truth, it edifies our fellow counselors in that it gives them the courage to to do the same. Yeah. Absolute. Yeah, I mean it's just a common human reality. Others are standing boldly, it gives us the ability to stand boldly because we say we're not alone in this thing. Right. So, in in contrast, let's say that someone ask that question, why are you...

...making me feel bad, and our counselor whoever is responding to that question says, Oh, I'm sorry, I don't want to, I don't want to make you feel bad, right. Yeah. Well, what that does? That equip and edify the church? No, because it's not biblical. Yeah, we, we. So we need to know how to answer that question. We do need a response to that question and I think the question, as we answer it. Not only are we helping that mom, that dad, whoever is, is saying hey, you're making me feel bad, but we're reminding the church they have a role here to speak truth, speak it graciously, speak it in love, but don't shy away from the fact that that's what we are called to do. So when we respond well to that question, I think we do indeed edify our fellow believers and and help to build up the body of Christ. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Well, I mean we're we're not called to have every answer to every question right. Well, we are called to be ready to give a defense for the hope that's in us. Right, and I think that can include when we're speaking the truth in this context, where when somebody challenges us, we can give a proper response. And what is the proper response? I think the proper response is kind of what we talked about earlier. And again, tone can matter a whole lot, but I believe what you've got written here. You know, when someone comes out, and a lot of times it's the man or it's a friend or something like that. It's very rarely the mom that comes out and says you're making me feel bad. It's normally a friend or, you know, the boyfriend or something like that. You're making me feel that often apparent of the team. I heard a lot when it's a mom or dad protecting they feel they're protecting their their teenager. Yeah. So, yeah, the response, I think, is again with the proper tone. Maybe she feels bad because she knows what she's doing is wrong. And you expand on that a little bit more in the article, but that's basically the premise and getting into the truth that, like, do you you do understand what's happening here? You do know that she's about to take the life of her baby and we're just here to offer help. We're not here just to make her feel bad. We're here to speak the truth to her, and so I might say something like that. You know, I'm not here just to make your feel bad, but if she feels bad, maybe it's because what she's doing is bad. Yeah, and that's probably the Holy Spirit convicting your affect not probably how it's say. Definitely right, that's the Holy Spirit convicting her. It's because she knows that she shouldn't do this and she doesn't have to do this. We're here to offer help. We're here to offer hope and to say that she doesn't have to do that thing that she feels bad about. MMM, I've heard you, I've heard many of our counselors say in response to that question. If she were here having a tooth pulled, do you think there's anything we could say that would make her feel guilty or bad? Yeah, actually did have someone to say once. Yes, well, there probably are things I could say that might except but in general no, you don't feel guilty about getting a tooth pulled because it's not a moral decision. I don't think. Maybe there are times when it is, but in most cases I don't think having a tooth pull there's generally a moral decision. But this is abortion is a moral decision and with direct consequence to rebellion or obedience to God and and the Bible is clear that shall not murder and that the unborn is a innocent, sacred life. Yeah, human life. It should be protected. So it I think it is really important to be able to confidently answer in that you're at a fine many people...

...if you can respond gently, kindly but truthfully to that question. You know you're obviously outifying the MOMS and the dad's or the friends you're at to find the pro choice. People would they will often speak. They'll often ask this as well. But we're also out of fine or our fellow believers when because I think especially new counselors do sometimes think, oh, yeah, I don't want to make anyone feel bad. Yeah, and yeah, we're so often can accused of spreading condemnation and wholier than thou says, Righteous, judgmental whatever. Yeah, I think that comes again in checking the motive of our heart and the way that we carry ourselves. You know, people can, people can sense when you're genuine right and even though they might accuse you of you not being genuine, of having evil motives, they can tell when your motives are pure. And so we do need to check our hearts before God. And you know, the reality is our calling to be out there is not to make women feel bad about their decision. It's to point them to Jesus. Now, we do know that, in order for people to be like ourselves right, we didn't come to Jesus until we felt bad for our sin. So, in a sense, like there is this this this this modern Christian notion that the worst possible thing you could ever do is to judge somebody or to make them feel guilty. But I want to say Biblically, guilt is not always a bad thing. Right guilt is what leads us to the one who removes our guilt. The Holy Spirit operates. The Bible says, and just what Jesus said. He says the spirit will come to convict the World Concerning Sin, righteousness and judgment. Those are heavy words that we don't like to talk about, Sin and righteousness and judgment, but that's the work of the Holy Spirit. To those who don't know God, he says he comes to convict the World Concerning Sin and righteousness and judgment. Those who don't know God, he's going to make them feel guilty about their sin. He's going to show them that they need righteousness that comes through through Christ and that there is a judgment to come. So you know, in a sense, we're not out there to judge people, we're not out there to make them feel guilty, we're not out there to make them feel bad. But if they do, then let's trust that that's the holy spirits work, and that's what I will say. As I just talked about, maybe that's God convicting you that you know what you're about to do is wrong, and I might identify with that and say I understand that. Listen, God convicted me of my sin, he convicted me of how I had gone away from him, away from truth, in order to bring me to himself. So maybe that's what the Lord's doing in your heart. Maybe that's what the Lord's doing in the heart of your friend, because he wants them to come to him and to put their trust in him. And so I'd know. That's kind of how I would I would view it and how I would respond. Yeah, and I agree with all that. I will often say I you know it. I think guilt is a blessing, yeah, from God, when I'm doing something that's I'm guilty of. That is how he steers me, me away from that behavior. So we should, we should listen to that voice of in our conscience, that guilt. That is how God often tells us, yeah, you need to turn from this. Yeah, absolutely. And so guilt, their feeling, is not coming from us, but it probably is a by product of us speaking truth that reveals the evil that they are contemplating. Yeah, absolutely. It's not our purpose, it's not our motivation...

...to make them feel guilt. Our motivation is to speak truth and then guilt should occur if, if that truth reveals darkness. And said absolutely. Yeah. Another verse that I think is really important in how we should speak is second Corinthians, nineteen. Have you been thinking all along that we've been defending ourselves to you? It is in the side of God that we've been speaking to Christ and all for your upbuilding, beloved. Why I think that such an important verse is I think it tells us one of the things we shouldn't do in our speech, and that is to speak in a defensive mode. Okay, and what I mean by that because I've heard this that and we've all done it, where we're under such brutal attack from the pro abortion grewop that we we know their lies. They're often very personal, and so we spend a lot of our speech out there defending ourselves. Yeah, and I think that in fact, sometimes more time defending ourselves then speaking the truth that might save that child's life or convict us soul bent on sin. Yeah, and so I think God is specifically warning us here and in other places about don't worry about defending yourself. That's not the point. Yeah, God is our defender first of all, and if we're there, our duty is not to show that we should be there. Our duty is to speak truth. Yeah, and and I think we have to be careful about being defensive and wasting precious time trying to defend ourselves as opposed to trying to defend that baby. We yeah, the truth of God. Yeah, yeah. One thing I've said and I've learned is that you're never going to be able to satisfy all of the questions and all of the accusations that proabortion people especially have. But even you know, the friends and boyfriends that come over and just accuse you. They have no context, really do accuse you. I mean I've been accused of you know, you're telling these women that they're murderers, you're telling these women that their horrors and things like this, and I'm like, when have I ever said that? I have never said that. Please, if you can show me a recording of me or anyone on my team ever saying that. Now I would say that I agree. I've said that abortion is murder, but I don't just accusatorily yell at women you're a murderer. I don't do that, because I don't think that's helpful. And if they haven't had the abortion, that it's not true. Right, they're going to be they don't repent. But let's just this is not how we operate. We don't operate and just yelling out, just accusatory statements. And so I say that to say that there are people that just want to distract you, they just want to make you doubt your calling and it's really demonic, to be honest with you. Right, they're being fueled by the lives of the enemy, accusations against you. What is the devil? He's the accuser of the brethren and he uses people. The Bible says that his spirit is the spirits that is at work in unbelievers. Right, the spirit that's at work in unbelievers to accuse us and you know, to accuse us the eve of evil motives. It's why we need to examine our hearts. The Bible says if we judge ourselves, will not be judged of God's we need to we need to judge our own hearts and examine our own hearts and once we've done that we can have confidence that we're speaking out of pure motives and the accusations that come and the questions that come about why we're doing what we're doing, and all those things can fall to the ground. We don't need to defend ourselves. We don't need to defend God. God can defend himself. Right and and just. You let them speak their foolishness and the Bible says you answer a fool, according to us, folly, and you can become like...

...him. Right, we don't need to get in the muck and the Mare of all these these things, like you said, not being listened we belong to the eternal God, the God who made the heavens of the earth. We're actually, according to the Bible, we're his sons and daughters. Yeah, so all the accusations that can come and all that you're this or you're that kind of stuff, that none of that matters in the light of the fact that we belong to the Lord and he'll defend us. And it's right and right, it's it's going to be very clear to these people, if they don't repent when they stand before God, that what we were doing. We were doing out of a love for people, on a love for God. You're just not going to be able to correct everybody's misunderstanding right now, in time, right, and God will that right and eternity. Yeah, nor should you. It's it's not what you're out there to do, which kind of leads to what you said be just a second ago about your motivation. Is You love them and you want, you're seeking their good, honestly, and that that's then, the next main point about what our speech should be. Our speech should reflect that we are speaking for their good. Yeah, and so Romans fifteen to let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build them up again. That build up is that, if I to Pul them up. So, and I thought this was an interesting verse because I'd like to hear your take on that. So the first part of it to please his neighbor. Do you think we're pleasing our neighbor up there when we are, well, I mean at their speech. I mean, if you think about it, when we're talking to a mom going into the abortion center, that little baby is our neighbor and she is our neighbor. Right. So yeah, we're pleasing our neighbor, we're doing good toward our neighbor and lines in line with proverbs. Thirty one, verses eight nine. We're open in a mouth for the speechless. Hey, in the cause of all who are appointed to die. Right, we're speaking on behalf of our neighbor. Now that mom, who's also our neighbor. She's she's the one that's going to go in. Like we've talked about in the past, she's the judge. Ultimately, she gets to say whether or not that baby lives or dies. Unfortunately, in our society, she's also our neighbor, but she's put herself in a different position. So to edify her, to bring her up like that definition, to bring her up to where she needs to be morally, we've got to speak some truth. It's going to sting, that's going to hurt, but our motivation is for her good. Like I don't want to speak to her the truth about your her baby and the resources that are available and what God sees as what she's about to do is murder, and just kind of give her the information. And you know, I want to give her that information so that she just feels bad. No, I want her to, if she is feeling bad, ultimately to come to Jesus. I want her to turn to the Lord. I want the highest good for her, which is eternal life. Yeah, as I was thinking through that, I was thinking, well, you know, honestly, do they feel please with a lot of what I say? No, they don't, not initially, but I will say the ones that choose life overwhelmingly contact to contact us at some point following that choice and thank us. Yeah, we're helping to prevent them making the biggest mistake of their life and at that point they recognize our speech was to please them because really, ultimately the speech is is to please God. But but that versus saying that that we are pleasing them for their good, because that really is is the the motivation. It is for their good that we're speaking this truth, because abortion is, I think you talked in the last podcast about its ugly tentacles. Extend your ways that really so much beyond the death of an innocent baby that are often not revealed for decades and and it's inner generational and it just affects so...

...much. So for us to be speaking for their good has to be speaking the truth that this is wrong. Yeah, yeah, a a terrible choice. Yeah, because again, if we just speak flowery words and you know, you know abortions your choice and it's not a big deal and we kind of comfort them in their sin. Are we really edifying? I mean that in actuality we're tearing them down. Yeah, because we're not giving them the truth about about their eternal state before the Lord. Yeah, we're saying abruptly on the definition, we're specifically altering the message to suit someone sensibilities at the time and with no regard to what the Bible actually says or what God has told us to do. Yeah. Yeah, and if it may appear for the moment that we're building them up, like we're making them feel good about themselves, in reality it's like building a building with with faulty materials, right, thank going to fall. Yeah, because ultimately the Bible's very clear. We will all stand before God and give an account for what we've done. And the Bible's very clear again that those who love the truth, that we should speak the truth and we should confront sin. You know, Effesians is at five eleven. Have no fellowship with the in fruit of works of darkness. Rather expose them like that's edifying speech. Actually, we expose through our speech and that's edifying actually, even though it doesn't feel good to those who are in darkness, it's still edifying right, because ultimately the goal is to really build them up, not on not with faulty materials, but with real materials of real truth that's actually going to be an edifice, to be a building that cannot be shaken. To the Bible says, they it. He will shake everything that can be shaken and these false comforts in these false notions that God's okay with whatever is. It's a shaky foundation. It's a shaky building that will fall when when people stand before the Lord, you know one of them. I think this is our last main point. One of the dangers, I think of of really being gung home about a a fine, which we should be. But I've heard it. I've heard many groups and people say, well, we're justified in righteous anger because Jesus showed certainly showed righteous anger when he overturned the tables, for example in the temple, and and some of our other responses. We are justified in that. And and so there are some some people that will rationalize. In my opinion it's it's rationalizing. I could be wrong, but the anger level or even the name calling, because you can biblically support that. I mean Jesus did do both. But is that our goal? And I and I think that we've kind of shown that that in most of the verses that talk about speech, it talks about at a fine. One of the verses that to me spoke to this last main point about being really careful about basically righteous anger and and name calling is First Corinthians ten, twenty three. All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up. Again, build up, which is at a FY. So not all things are at afying. We may be allowed to do it, we could even be biblically justified in doing it, but is it at a fine? Does it build up? And I have never felt that a show of great anger, especially if accompanied with name calling, is at a fine...

...to me, it just puts up a wall right away and and I lose the opportunity for any extended atifying speech. Yeah, so what do you think? Yeah, I mean absolutely, we've got to operate in such a way that's truthful but also gracious and even though, again, like the Scripture says, we can justify it. I mean, after all, Jesus called the Pharisees Snakes Children, he called them whitewash tunes, and so we maybe he was calling them names. Right. Jesus's motives were always pure right. He always did what he heard the father. You always said we'd heard the father say. Did what the father commanded him to do. We're not in that state where we always perfectly hear from God. Jesus knew what to say. At the moment we don't. We have to do the best we can, working through what we know, and so our default should always be toward grace and toward seeking to edify, seeking to build up, seeking to even, you know, build bridges with people and not to burn them. Right, and I do think you know. As far as angry is concerned, the Bible says that the anger of Man Does Not work the righteousness of God. So we can justify our anger. Listen, if there's ever a place where we can justify being angry and getting in the flesh is that it's at a place where they're murdering children for money. Right, that's a place where we could justify. But we have to remember we're there to honor Jesus and we don't see the whole picture. We don't see the totality what's going on. We have to do the best we can with the information we have and and yes, speak the truth, but do it in a balanced way where we're trying to we want to have conversations with the people going in. We don't want to just write them off. We don't want to just come across as being judge or whatever. And so, you know, I think again, I think my charge has been all along. Right, we need to be walking with the Lord, we need to be seeking him, seeking wisdom that comes from him. There's going to be times where we speak in such a way where it's going to come across as harsh and we've spoken out of a pure motive. We can't walk on the eggshells constantly and be concerned constantly about how what we're saying might be perceived. But we do need to consider that. I guess it's probably the best I'll say. We need to consider the way that we're perceived. But if we're speaking the truth and we're doing it consistently with scriptures, we're doing out a pure motive. I think God will honor that for sure. Yeah, yeah, and then and I think to wrap up with this scripture, Colossians for six, and in. Guys, we want to hear what you guys have to say. Some of you been serving on the sidewalk for a long time. Maybe you can bring some value to this conversation as we're talking about this kind of that balance and how we edify and how we speak in such a way that imparts grace you to hear. So We'd love to hear from you, guys. Shoot is over an email. Daniel Love Life Dot Org, Vicky at Love Life Dot Org, but I don't read this scripture. That I think is a good one to end with, and this is the Collossians for six scripture. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with Salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. HMM. Speech always be gracious, seasoned with Salt. So I want to make sure it's season. Will make sure that what we're saying is out of a pure motive, that what we're saying we actually want people to receive rather than just throw it information out there. And you know, ultimately the goal is that that Jesus Christ is glorified above all things, and so just want to give you guys. That encouragement give you, guys. Is that charge you? We'd love to hear from you, guys, and hear other subjects, topics that we can cover. I don't...

...know, Vicky, have anything you want to add just as we wrap this thing up? Just I thought it was interesting. I didn't catch this one. I was thinking about that first. But seasoned with Salt. Salt was a preservative and kept things from being corrupted. So I think that's another you know, call to be be careful that your speech is not corrupted, that you are speaking without error as best you can, which which means scripture. Go, yeah, go to the Bible. Yeah, absolutely. Amen. All right, guess with that we'll wrap this podcast up. We appreciate you guys listening and until next time. God, bless God, bless y'all. Give me our love for love, give me our love for gratitude. I know it will cost me my life. Nothing's too precious in some you.

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